Hello and welcome to the Discourse. Anne Sexton's poem "Wanting to Die" is a letter to her friend and psychiatrist Anne Wilder. In it, Sexton responds to Wilder's persistent question of why she was attracted to suicide. The poem was later published in Sexton's book Live or Die, for which she received the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1967.
"Wanting to Die" is a poem by Anne Sexton that explores themes of despair, mental illness, and the contemplation of suicide. The poem is written in a deeply personal style that reflects Sexton's own struggles with depression and her complex relationship with life and death. Anne Sexton was a leading figure in the late 1950s and early 1960s Confessional Poetry movement. Confessional Poetry is known for its focus on the poet's personal experiences and emotions, often delving into themes of trauma, mental illness, and intimate relationships. Sexton's poem "Wanting to Die" is a prime example of this style of poetry. The poem is often studied for its raw honesty and emotional depth, and it further solidified Sexton's reputation as a significant voice in confessional poetry.
Structure of ‘Wanting to Die’:
The poem "The Exorcism of Emily Dickinson" by Anne Sexton consists of 33 lines written in free verse, lacking any specific rhyming scheme or meter. These 33 lines are set in 11 tercets (3-line stanzas). This structure contributes to the poem's rhythmic flow and allows for a compact expression of complex emotions. The poem follows a conversational tone and addresses an unnamed "you," creating an intimate and personal dialogue. This direct address enhances the confessional nature of the poem, inviting readers into Sexton's inner world. This poem is a journey through despair that reflects the speaker's struggle with suicidal thoughts. The poet employs vivid imagery and symbolism throughout the poem, for instance, comparing the desire for death to an addictive substance (unnameable lust). The poem suggests that dying can become a drug, a passionate rush, something to long for.
Summary of ‘Wanting to Die’:
Stanza 1 Lines 1-3
“Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the almost unnameable lust returns.”
The speaker in this poem seems to be answering a question from the reader. The speaker says that on most days, she can't remember what she was asked about. For her, it's almost as normal as walking around in her clothes. She walks around in her clothes and almost inevitably an "unnamable lust returns." This 'unnamable lust' is her suicidal tendency, her wish to embrace death.
Stanza 2 Lines 4-6
“Even then I have nothing against life.
I know well the grass blades you mention,
the furniture you have placed under the sun.”
In the second stanza, the poet clarifies that she has nothing against life. She understands the value and luster of life and cherishes the little pleasures of life, such as a blade of grass or furniture placed in the sun. Her desire to embrace death does not mean that she blames her life or does not enjoy its simple fleeting pleasures. It is not that she is troubled by the difficulties of daily life and contemplates suicide as a rescue; rather, death is a lust for her.
Stanza 3 Lines 7-9
“But suicides have a special language.
Like carpenters they want to know which tools.
They never ask why build.”
In this stanza, the poet extends the metaphor of furniture and uses simile to suggest the tendency of those who like the idea of death. She says that people who commit suicide only ask themselves about the means, not the ideas behind them. And she would know since she made several attempts at suicide during her life.
Stanza 4 Lines 10-12
“Twice I have so simply declared myself,
have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy,
have taken on his craft, his magic.”
In this stanza, the poet clarifies her love for life, mentions the desire for death as an enemy, and affirms her suicidal tendencies too. She’s tried to kill herself before (twice), and she is intimately aware of the thoughts and actions surrounding suicide. Twice, she has defeated the enemy.
Stanza 5 Lines 13-15
“In this way, heavy and thoughtful,
warmer than oil or water,
I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.”
The poet adopts a passive tone to suggest her internal struggle. There is a tinge of discordance, of elements, oil and water do not mix well. The poet is “heavy and thoughtful” with the thought of death. While deep in thought, she is “drooling at the mouth-hole.”
Stanza 6 Lines 16-18
“I did not think of my body at needle point.
Even the cornea and the leftover urine were gone.
Suicides have already betrayed the body.”
In this stanza, the speaker expresses the deplorable condition of her body suffering from bipolar disorder and the aftereffects of drugs she has been using. She was addicted to sleeping pills after the birth of her children. She presents deplorable imagery of her body with the cornea and “leftover urine gone”. Her suicide attempts have ruined her body.
Stanza 7 Lines 19-21
“Still-born, they don’t always die,
but dazzled, they can’t forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile.”
In this stanza, the poet depicts her failed suicidal attempts as stillborn. She compares the thought of suicide to an addictive drug that even children would look at and smile at. The idea of suicide as a “still-born” baby screams the awful entrapment of a soul in a body that wants to die.
Stanza 8 Lines 22-24
“To thrust all that life under your tongue!—
that, all by itself, becomes a passion.
Death’s a sad bone; bruised, you’d say,”
The speaker compares suicide attempts with “life” which is on the brink of destruction.
To take one’s life under one’s tongue “becomes a passion.” It was something she spent a great deal of time thinking about and was consumed by. The poet refers to death as a woman, that’s bruised.
Stanza 9 Lines 25-27
“and yet she waits for me, year after year,
to so delicately undo an old wound,
to empty my breath from its bad prison.”
The poet continues the personification of death and says that she waits for the poet year after year to “empty” her breath and free her from imprisonment, her bad, ruined body. Death is there, reading to “undo an old wound.”
Stanza 10 Lines 28-30
“Balanced there, suicides sometimes meet,
raging at the fruit a pumped-up moon,
leaving the bread they mistook for a kiss,”
The poet says that when life is “balanced there” between life and death, it reveals itself to be a kind of suffering that only suicides can recognize, and heal.
Stanza 11 Lines 30-33
“leaving the page of the book carelessly open,
something unsaid, the phone off the hook
and the love whatever it was, an infection.”
In the final stanza, the poet says that death leaves everything unsaid, pages of book carelessly left open and the phone is “off the hook”, and compares the love for life to an infection. Everything in the stanza screams of death and absence, symbolizing the end of life.
So this is it for today. We will continue to discuss the history of American English literature. Please stay connected with the Discourse. Thanks and Regards!
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